Greg ‘Kness o’ Glass’ Oden Taking His Talents (and excessive personal fouls) to South Beach

Change the logos on the chairs to the Heat logo, and this may likely be an image from next season.

Change the logos on the chairs to the Heat logo, and this may likely be an image from next season.

Greg Oden has officially made his ‘decision’.  Though it was not broadcast to the nation via a special on ESPN that lead to the breaking of the hearts of every basketball fan in Cleveland, his decision was the same as LeBron James’s.  As a wise man once said, he’s going to Miami.  The Heat, who are in dire need of a center and apparently made no effort to try and pick up available healthy centers like Samuel Dalembert or Chris Kaman (who both took pay cuts to play for lottery teams), thought it best to focus on a player whose knees have never held up for even so much as half a season and who was among the league leaders in fouls-per-36 minutes, ensuring that if his injuries don’t keep him on the bench, at least his fouls will. Since being drafted together, Kevin Durant and Greg Oden, the top two picks in the 2007 draft, have combined for 603 games played, with Oden contributing 88 of those games and Durant the other 505.  While it is true that there are players who have played more games in one season than Oden has in the first 6 years of his career, those players are limited in number to pretty much any player in the league who has made it into the second round of the playoffs at least once.  Even Anderson Varejao who hasn’t played a full season in his career managed to pull of 101 games in single season once.  The Cleveland Cavaliers likely would have been the more sensible pick for Oden, because at least then Oden could have kept company with other oft injured centers Andrew Bynum and Anderson Varejao, and each could discuss which doctors were more adept at prolonging recovery from corrective knee surgeries whilst comparing the suits they wear to the games and offering support for the teammates whose knees aren’t made of glass.  Of course, there is always the chance that Oden will become healthy, reach his full potential, stop committing so many fouls and become the next Bill Russell, whilst simultaneously breaking the hearts of every basketball fan not in Miami, because let’s be honest, that’s just how things go. 

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